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Friday, May 31, 2013

Think Happy Thoughts: 5/31/2013

   Today is the day I have been dreading all week. That is probably the only time I will ever say that about a Friday. Today I go in for my hysterosalpingogram or HSG as I refer to it. It's basically dye going into your uterus and fallopian tubes to check for any blockage. It sounds horrible to me but I know that it needs to be done so I am going to try my best to suck it up and carry on. My doctor has prescribed a valium and a norco type cocktail. So, come 1:45 pm, bottoms up!
   Prayers and well wishes are welcome and encouraged! My procedure actually begins at 2:15 pm.
Oh, and in case you were wondering what it might look like here's a picture I found on google.

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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Thursday Randoms

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Hello, all. I've been on a mental hiatus lately, the end of the year is busier than the beginning, in my opinon. As things wind down I find myself surfing the web much more. Here are a few (including the above) things I am loving on this gorgeous Thursday morning. Oh, and in case you were wondering next Wednesday is my last day with the students!

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Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind
I plan on doing plenty of this during the summer.

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Monday, May 20, 2013

Weekend Shenanigans: Boerne Fest 2013


Boerne Fest 2013

The bubble pool was a big hit with these two.

Riley was captured in this photo, to bad mom and I weren't!

Anna, the free spirit and her daddy.

Cousins, Riley & Anna.

Anna enjoyed the chalk... alot.

I love spending time with these two, I'm blessed.

My sister Elizabeth, and her precious Anna.

   We had a family fun filled weekend! Saturday we spent the day at the kid friendly Boerne Fest, it's a festival of arts, local food, and music. It was a really hot day but that didn't stop the little ones from enjoying themselves. After leaving the festival Blake and I decided to set up the doggy pool out back and cool off in the water. Boy oh boy did I get burned! Then Saturday night Elizabeth had us over for dinner. It was really nice to visit with everyone, and I realized we all lead such busy lives that we rarely see eachother despite the fact that we live within a thirty mile radius. The girls are growing up and developing the most adorable personalities. Each moment spent with them is the best!  On Sunday we went to lunch before Claire, Cameron, and Riley headed back to Austin. We went to Cheesy Jane's and it was terrible service. I don't recommend going there if you are in Boerne. It brings me joy to tell you that I have eleven days of school left. Eleven. I can see the end, it's a wonderful feeling!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

It's Okay...

Its Ok Thursdays

It's Okay...

... that my favorite day of the week is Friday afternoon.
... to be sick of trying so damn hard every month for something that is just NOT happening.
... to distance yourself from people.
... to wish you could afford a vacation.
... to think that summer seems far away.
... speaking of summer, I have already started packing away my classroom.
... to read the same book about twenty times. it's a classic!
... to dream.
... to be new to twitter.

 I've been MIA lately because of the school year winding down. The beginning and end of the year seem to be the busiest for me. I can't stress it enough how ready I am for the summer. I am asking the Lord to bless me with some patience and mercy. I'm struggling. May God bless you and yours this week.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Infertility Etiquette

* This post has been copied and pasted from Jessah's blog. I think that it's a great read for anyone.

If you know someone who is struggling with infertility, please read the very important information below (via RESOLVE) to learn what not to say and how to best support your friend or family member during this difficult time. To make this more digestable, I've included the most helpful tips (in my humble opinion).


Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.



As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.

A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:

They will eventually conceive a baby.

They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.

They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster

parent.

Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.



Don't Tell Them to Relax

Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.



Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.



These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.



Don't Minimize the Problem

Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.



Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.



Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen

Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?



Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.



People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.



Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents

One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.



Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"



Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy

This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.



The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.



Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."



I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.



Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant

For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.



Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.



Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.



Don't Push Adoption (Yet)

Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.



You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.



Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.



So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.



Let Them Know That You Care

The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.



Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments

No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.



Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

It's Okay... 5/9/2013

Its Ok Thursdays

It's Okay...

... to order pizza rather than cooking
... to think 19 days is a long time
... to check your phone when you have a free minute (instagram)
... to think about your future as if you were pregnant
... to pick off your own shellac
... to be an enrichment teacher and be pumped when a class is on a field trip
... to think snapchat is amazing and to send unattractive photos of yourself to friends
... to analyze your dreams
... to think Friday night t.v. is awesome (Dateline, Shark Tank, 20/20)
... that for the first time in months (9) I have had coffee almost every morning this week
... to already be excited about the next school year
... to secretly be dreading my would be due date May 22, 2013
... to recognize infertility has changed me and to miss the old me



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

What I'm Loving Wednesday 5/8/2013


Linking up with the lovely Jamie today.



Bow down to SJP. Love it.


Our PTO is awesome! They have catered to us each day with something special. This reminder at the end of a long year is much appreciated.


 TOMS 'Classic - Stripe' Denim Slip-On (Women)
I can't wait to purchase these new puppies! Perfect for summer.

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Lol! Hahaha!

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Saturday, May 4, 2013

Reminder

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  This is something that I need to remember quite often. I always have hope and the promise of a miracle. God is nothing but good. I wish you a very happy weekend!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Renting Textbooks (Genius)

   


   Renting textbooks?! It's to bad this wasn't around when I was in college (only a few short years ago). I spent a fortune on textbooks, and when I would sell them back you can bet I got less than 10% of what I paid for them. Campusbookrentals.com is the perfect solution to not spending more on your books than you do on your classes. For each textbook rented a portion of the proceeds is donated to Operation Smile which makes you feel like your very own philanthropist!

Some perks are:

-save 40-90% off of bookstore prices
-free shipping both ways
-can highlight in the textbooks
-flexible renting periods
-we donate to Operation Smile with each textbook rented

  They've even introduced a new program which allows you to rent out your books to other students! RentBack is new initiative that allows students to rent the textbooks they own - to other students... which is awesome because it makes you 2-4x more money compared to what you'd make through buyback options! (selling your books back at the end of the semester) Isn't that awesome?! Like I said before it's to bad that I am not in school anymore because this is something I dreamed about while in college. For those of you reading this who are still in school, TAKE ADVANTAGE!



Thursday, May 2, 2013

It's Okay...

Its Ok Thursdays

Linking up with Amber today.

It's okay...

..that I don't have much to blog about lately
... that I wake up every morning thinking "I can't wait to go back to bed tonight!"
... to be obsessed excited about a television show (criminal minds)
... to ease up on your diet and splurge
... that my doctor said to ease up on the caffeine and now I think I've had at least one coke per day since then.
... to consider giving up Facebook.
... to be really excited to do nothing this summer.
... to think that 23 days left of the school year is a lot.
... to love discussing baby names with the hubs (no, we're not pregnant!)

* I put this gif in because it makes me laugh*